This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
