Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
