Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
