I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
