dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
All the doctor said was why
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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