You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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