what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
