My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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