Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize