i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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