She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
two words: eviction party
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
