doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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