is your mom at the bar?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
