My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
we're so committed to being not committed
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
