No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I am spending my child support on dildos
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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