i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
