Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
The beer is more important than you right now.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
