Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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