Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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