Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize