I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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