Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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