His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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