So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
