check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
