I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
