I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
