Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
