if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Drunk is a universal language darling
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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