But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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