Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
