Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
