He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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