Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
