I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
All I want is dick and wine.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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