then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
