Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
