I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
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