Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize