How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
