I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
