I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
