She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
