They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize