38 yer olds are good kisserssss
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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