How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
