so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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