Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
