I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
her facebook's as public as her vagina
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
