when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
