No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
