Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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