I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
