how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
