Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
