Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
