When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Randomize
