My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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