Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
